Born This Way

I am writing this blog post to vent my frustration at the many well meaning parents of angel children, or better yet, the friends who have no children but apparently know exactly what it takes to be perfect parents and how they would handle every situation or how it would NEVER happen to them.

I just read another article, Permissive Parents, Curb Your Brats, that just about put me over the edge again when it comes to other people's opinions about other people's kids.

I would have posted this on facebook, but I figure less people read our blog and I have a smaller chance of offending those I might be referring to, even though I know these people do not know I even co-write a blog. In fact, I am not even facebook friends with these people so I don't know why I worry about appearances.

But really...I am happy for you parents out there who have mastered, "The Look" or "The stare" or whatever magical ability it is you claim you use to control your children. I am glad that YOU are never frustrated, overworked, underpaid, exhausted, etc. enough to let me know that I am a bad parent. Thank you for that. All of us with the "children who run wild" REALLY appreciate knowing how much we suck!!!

Thank you for letting me know my child is a brat and is annoying everyone around them. Believe it or not, the screaming child in the restaurant does not annoy me--it makes me feel normal.

My kids are not BAD or EVIL or anything like that. I have one super sensitive child who practically sobs if he thinks he has done something that we disapprove of. I have another child who could care less what anyone else's opinion is other than her own and truly seems to believe at the ripe old age of 6 that the world does indeed revolve around her.

Did I raise these kids differently? Not that I am aware of...they have grown up in the same house, with the same two parents who rarely fight, who have been married for over 16 years.

Am I impressed by my childless girlfriend's tales of her sister's kids who once threw up at the dinner table and the sister made the kid clean up his own vomit? Not really. Am I upset when I see a kid crying their eyes out in a shopping cart at the store to a mother or father who is begging them to stop? No, I am just feeling a little bit of empathy for mom, dad and the kid...I don't know who is the most exhausted and I wish I could give all of them a break.

I am reminded by my own mother, while once in Kmart I remarked at the wise old age of 7 that if she BOUGHT my little sister the toy while she was having a temper tantrum, then she would merely learn that if she throws a tantrum she will know she gets her way. I also remember my mom's response to my wise advice which was, "Talk me me again after YOU have 8 kids."

As far as I know, I was a fairly shy and quiet child who didn't misbehave a lot. But my dad ruled by the iron fist (spanking) and yes, I was deathly afraid of him when he was mad. My mom usually just left the room. I have 7 siblings that range from shy and nerdy to outspoken and fashionistas. We were all raised by the same two parents...my mom and dad, still together after 52 years.

At this point I am sure it just sounds like I am babbling, but I do have a point. I honestly think that each kid's personality, for the most part--your kid was born that way. So for those of you lucky enough to have one or more angel children who do everything you say when you say--congratulations. I am very happy for you. And for all of my well-meaning friends out there who have no children (but want children) and have all this great advice on what we are doing wrong, well...I can't wait until you have kids of your own.

And finally, to all my friends who do not have any kids and never want to have any kids....if you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say anything. We don't need your help and it only hurts our feelings when you tell us how much our kids annoy you!

And finally, for all the parents of kids like mine who may or may not listen to me at any given moment of the day, I feel for you and I understand....baby they were born this way....

Barbnocity...

PS...I love my kids JUST the WAY THEY ARE!!! Thanks!