Back to School for Hawksbill

As Barb mentioned, things have been very busy around here lately. I'm back in school, with the same crazy schedule as last year. The big upside, though, is that my internship is at a hospital close to home this year instead of way out in Ann Arbor again. This means I only have to Drive to Ann Arbor twice a week, instead of 4 times a week. This is a huge improvement. If things go well, I'll only have to make the trip once a week next semester.

My classes are a bit more interesting than last year. I got most of those required policy and community organizing classes out of the way and I'm just taking classes in counseling, of one type or another (with individuals, with families, with groups, etc.). And, as I mentioned, I'm interning at a local hospital where they have a program to help children and adolescents who have suffered a traumatic loss (violent death of parent or sibling usually) and have PTSD as a result.

In general, I'm liking school, but sometimes the supreme-ultra-hyper-Liberal thing makes me cranky. Before going to the UofM School of Social Work I didn't fully realize how capital-L "Liberal" the place was. I generally consider myself to be leftish in nature, but it occasionally bugs me how far it is taken.

Here's an example: In my class about interpersonal counseling for individuals we've been discussing how important it is for a "therapist" to be sensitive to cultural difference between him/herself and the client. The subject of tolerance is drilled into us in many classes at almost every opportunity. I agree whole heartedly with this, but the length they go to drill this into us borders on the patronizing, which bugs me to no end.

To emphasize the idea of tolerance last week our instructor showed us a few video clips from an old episode of "Northern Exposure" in this episode Maurice discovers that he unknowingly fathered a child during his military time in Korea some 40 years ago when his former lover, their son and the son's son make a surprise visit to Cicily, Alaska. Maurice has a real problem with his son being "some kind of Chinaman", but DJ Chris gives him a talk about racism being learned behavior which he can unlearn and he thinks about that.

Later Maurice and his new Korean son (who speaks no English) are at a bar together, trying to communicate. Initially they have difficulty crossing their cultural boundaries, but at some point they begin to bond through a) drinking whiskey, b) arm wrestling and c) a shared love of electrical engineering... all of which they manage without speaking a word of a language that the other can understand.

I loved this scene because I thought it did a great job of showing how people can get around their preconceptions of others and find common ground despite their differences. It was very touching.

Our instructor said as much as well, but then added: "Does anyone see the problems here? If Maurice were your client and you were his therapist, what guidance would he need next" None of us understood what the teacher was getting at, so he clarified by saying: "Don't you think that this kind of male bonding just propagates negative masculine stereotypes?" Basically he was suggesting that "masculinity" as seen in drinking and physical competition is just the first step along the road to alcoholism and being physically abusive.

I raised my hand at this point and suggested that, if the characters have solved their interpersonal problem, and no one is being hurt, what's so bad about that? I asked if it was our place to impose our values on the client and try to solve a potential future problem that has not become a problem yet and may never be a problem at all.

This didn't sway our teacher who basically insisted that masculinity is something bad which needs to be corrected in some way and that it is our place as future social workers to help our clients which such problems.

I shut my damned mouth at this point. A few other people tried to back me up, but not with much effort. The woman next to me did lean over and whisper this to me, though: "Would he be complaining if the two characters were women and they bonded by going shopping and painting each others nails?"

For several other reasons I was already disliking this particular teacher... but this interaction sealed the deal for me.

In general there some strong attitudes about social relationships that are emphasized, but not discussed openly in the UofM School of Social Work that I struggle to get my head around and which conflict with my own view of the world. I've taken classes there on social policy, community activism, individual, group and family therapy and I've noticed the following set of underlying principles.

1. If I am not always feeling guilty for being a white man, then there is something wrong with me.
2. If I am not always fully comfortable discussing and proclaiming this guilt in public with people I hardly know, then there is something wrong with me. This includes many written assignments in which I am graded on my ability to convincingly express my shame at being privileged.
   
3. Any expression of masculinity is bad and interpreted as an attempt to (or a foreshadowing of an attempt to) oppress and dominate somebody.
4. Cultural and racial diversity is good. Gender based diversity is bad. All differences we perceive to be based on gender are not only purely culturally created, they need to be eliminated.
   
5. It is bad to be an individualist. Especially a "rugged individualist". Such people really just want to use their privilege to oppress and dominate others.
6. It is good to be a member of a group, to be aware of and follow group norms and social rules. People like this are aware of the needs of others and look out for each other. The group knows best. Group involvement is the best source of resolution to individual and social problems. It is good to be in a group. The only exception to this rule is...
7. Families are nice and all, but really they are the source of many individual problems. Children are invariably either too alienated by abusive or neglectful parents or they suffer from overly close and intense familial relationships (ala Norman Bates) and fail to mature properly because they are overly dependent on a parent. In general, families are something that people need to gain independence from in order to be happy.
8. The worst thing you can be is dependent on someone else. Close, personal relationships run a real risk of causing interpersonal dependence. Independence is the way to go. It is much better to be independent, except where it might cause someone to be an "individualist". Then you've gone too far.
   

These things aren't stated explicitly at school, but are implied by the way discussions about individuals, groups and families take place separately. They are never bluntly compared with each other. My impressions are gestalted together from many classroom lectures.

One of the things I've concluded from all this is that the far Left (as represented by Ann Arbor academia) is very conflicted with the idea of intimacy, and long term, permanent relationships... especially if men are involved in those relationships. It is almost as if the idea of permanent, unbreakable relationships has become synonymous with oppression, which needs to be escaped from. But, at the same time, individualism is viewed as bad. This is very confusing to me. Individualism is bad, permanent family relationships should be viewed with great skepticism, but ephemeral, transitory group relationships with friends, school-mates and colleagues are not only good, but where we should find our real sense of identity and empowerment. This bugs me.

I believe that long term, permanent, intimate relationships are what life is all about. Usually these relationships are family, but some friendships last for a lifetime and we should be damned grateful if we have friends like that.

I take a Nash's Equilibrium view of these kinds of relationships. I believe that, in these groups (permanent, intimate relationships) it is bad for an individual to make choices solely out of individual need or desire. At the same time, though, I believe that it is bad for an individual in a group to make decisions solely based on what is good for the group. In my opinion, it is best for both the group and the individual if each person makes decisions that are simultaneously best for both the individual and the group. If something is good for me but bad for the rest of you, I'd reject that option. Likewise if something is good for the group, but bad for me personally, I would only accept that option in the case of an emergency where heroic sacrifice was necessary. The only acceptable choices are those that benefit us all.

In other kinds of groups, in which I don't have permanent relationships with others, I view it a bit differently. I try to apply the above rules until and unless the demands of the group become oppressive, annoying in some way, or just plain no longer useful, and then I abandon that group. This would apply to people at school, work or other ephemeral social relationships that aren't constructed to last very long. My only real loyalty is to the permanent people in my life as I view them as a source of real happiness and satisfaction.

The ultra-super-duper-capitol L-Liberal school of social work seems to be giving the message to its students that it is wrong to make sacrifices for our families, but that we should be comfortable making many sacrifices for people we don't know, especially the under privileged. That is to say, in school we encouraged to believe that family relationships are somehow bad for us, that the worse thing we can do is be dependent on our family, but that we should apply our loyalty to groups of people we don't know at all, people we aren't really that close to, or people whom we suspect we'll just separate from eventually anyway. (In an environment where "starter marriages" are seriously discussed in the media.)

The frustrating thing is, I can't raise these ideas at school. The faculty there are supremely tolerant of other people, unless you question the basic tenets of their philosophy. I think they are fairly quick to label dissent as being "racist", "sexist", an "individualist", "intolerant" or "not a team player" if I don't agree with the party line in all matters. This could effect my grades and my ability to get letters of recommendation for future jobs, so I keep my mouth shut as much as I'm able.

It isn't too terrible because I do agree with quite a bit of the Liberal perspective, there's just some things I have to let go of while I'm at school. Oh well... only 7 more months.

Nature Girl vs. Alpha Boy

Any statements I may have made about my kids playing well together, behaving well, starting potty training, etc...I retract them all now--just in case anyone is keeping track :)

Friday's field trip to the Nature Center turned out to be more of a pain in the butt than anything else, but I only have myself to blame for this. I made too many early side trips before the Nature Center, so it wasn't as enjoyable as it could have been.

Mistake number one was going to the mall first to try to find a black vest for Simon's Han Solo costume. Simon has decided that we are all going to be Star Wars characters for Halloween. Gwen is going to be Princess Leia, Simon will be Han Solo, I will be Luke Skywalker, and Hawksbill is going to be Obi-Wan Kenobi. So, Gwen's costume was an easy 1-2-3 click on ebay for not too much money. Simon's costume is fairly easy--he is just a guy with a gun, so he already had blue jeans, white t-shirt, etc...we just needed a black vest. I have a genetic disorder that forces me to check every damn store at the mall for the least expensive price of an item before I can buy it--coupled with another genetic disorder that will not allow me to buy something that is not on sale...so, after going to 10 different stores, only finding the black vest at Sears NOT ON SALE, and then mentally calculating how much gasoline and more time I was not willing to waste trying to find a less expensive vest, we bought the one from Sears without the need for me to go into some 12-step program for people who are incapable of ever paying full price for something.

The next stop, which could have easily been avoided by me, was a trip to a flute store to have 2 flutes and a piccolo inspected and appraised as brother #3 wished to borrow my student flute for his 10-year old daughter who is starting band this year. I was thinking of selling the instruments to him, but after the appraisal and Simon and Gwen begging me to teach them how to play, I decided the replacement cost would be too much for me later on, so I would keep them. Of course, waiting in a VERY tiny room for over 45 minutes while my kids jumped on the store's couches, Gwen screaming, "I NEED TO POOP ON THE POTTY!" changing over to "I NEED TO CHANGE MY POOPY DIAPER!!" and then me attempting to change said soiled diaper standing up in a bathroom no bigger than a port-o-potty was oh, so fun.

Tired of trying to get my lovely children to STOP ringing the bell on the door handle was the straw that broke this camel's back, so I left the store, scolding my kids and angry and tired, only to be followed out by an apologetic store owner (why he was apologizing was beyond me after listening to my crazy kids whooping it up in his store for 45 minutes) but I told him I would wait in the car for the inspection and appraisal if he didn't mind and he took care of everything--so thank you, flute specialist guy, for still wanting my business even after my kids were insane in your store :)

Next, I called my parents (who live near the nature center) to find out if we should come by before or after our nature walk, we decided after would be better and drove another 30 minutes to the Nature Center at the Metropark near my parents' house. It was my original plan to have my mom come with us, but we took so long at the first two stops that she didn't have time to come with us.

I haven't been to this nature center in years, and knew the new building should be open, so we wanted to go and check it out. By now, of course, it was Gwen's nap time, but she wasn't napping in the car, which only meant trouble later...but we'll get to that in a minute.

We got to the Nature Center Building and found it open, however, the bathrooms were not in working order. Great. Just went I need to go, and well, I am not taking BOTH Simon and Gwen into a port-o-potty with me, so I am just going to have to wait. The new building is pretty and has a bunch of fish tanks with fish and tons of turtles and snakes and rocks and what not--so I was happy to be there. Simon saw a bunch of wooden puzzles he wanted to work on, while Gwen checked out the frogs and turtles. I noticed a sign for a free scavenger hunt for the kids so I picked up the form and Gwen and I started looking for the answers. Simon caught wind of this and came up with some rational argument that, "Gwen can't do the scavenger hunt because it is BLUE!" and started arguing with me about who could hold the pencil. It was about that time that Gwen threw herself on the floor in a complete, full out tantrum--red face, tears, shrieking--it was great...not. I took the scavenger hunt back to the man in charge and politely said, "We're going to have to leave now," and dragged both kids kicking and screaming out....sigh...

But, I had hope--there was still the nature trail, so we walked to the 3 signs--we could do a 1/2 mile, 1.25 mile or 2.3 mile trail...stupid mommy chose the 1.25 mile trail thinking it wasn't too long and would wear out the little ones...ha ha ha...what was that? I forgot the part where I am carrying my camera, a small diaper bag, have to pee, and what was that? I forgot the rule of all small children who haven't napped yet and would want me to CARRY them the entire way??? Oh, where was my brain today? Gwen was really into the trail at first--there was a cool pond with rocks and lily pads and algae, all that good stuff that she wanted to inspect. Simon, on the other hand, wanted to find each trail marker as fast as humanly possible because, well, obviously, they were each marked with the letter "L" so we had to find all the L's and count them. So, between gentle Gwen wanting to count every fish, Simon screaming, "Come on, we need to find the next sign!" and then the 20 step, "Mommy, carry me piggy back!" followed by, "Mommy I want to walk!!" squats (My freaking calves still hurt!!!), it wasn't as calm and relaxing as I had hoped.

I was really hoping to stop and LOOK at things, but at one point Simon was so far ahead that I was worried he'd fall off of something or into something and had to keep moving. But I can only walk so fast with a full bladder while carrying a 35 lb 2-year old on my back...and a dirty diaper in my hand--did I mention I had to change her diaper halfway through the trail? There aren't exactly any garbage cans along the way and she insisted I change her or she would throw another raging tantrum.

We did get to see fish on the trail, and one crayfish. I wanted to stop and read the signs about how the area was created by glaciers and what the hills were called and what kinds of rocks were on the trails, but the whole thing was a blur. There were a few moments where the trail was really quiet and beautiful and I could imagine all of us hiking along the trails on Manitou Island, and I was thankful there wasn't anyone else on the trail for my kids to torment, but I think we'll have to do this trip again--in the morning...without making any stops before the actual trail...sigh....

And I KNOW this was my fault--I shouldn't have dragged the kids to several places before the nature trail, but I often wonder when other people tell me stories about "going to the nature trail" or "going to the pumpkin patch" with their kids and how much fun it was that I am the only one whose kids act insane or misbehave, or I just have this problem of dwelling on the bad moments and not focusing on the fun stuff. I don't know. I guess I am just trying to keep it real here :)

7.5 months to go

Two weeks of school have already passed by and our schedule is proving once again, to suck. There is no other way to put it--it sucks and I can't wait until May! :) The only day we have together is Sunday and we are all pretty wiped out by then. And may I mention that I hate waking up at 6:45 am?? Hate it!! I used to be a morning person, but now I think I am a night person. I can't sleep anymore--insomnia keeps me up until 2 or 3 am, and then I wake up every hour on the hour. I have nightmares about numbers and car accidents--I don't know which freaks me out more.

My weirdest number nightmares I used to have were when I was an undergrad. I would *wake up* (or so I thought) and look at my alarm clock and it would be some definite integral I had to solve in order to figure out what time it was...those were fun days!! Not.

Simon's homeschooling is progressing into a relaxed homeschool. We are not sticklers for when or how it happens--sometimes we do worksheets in the morning, or afternoon, or sometimes just before bed...sometimes we don't do them at all, or sometimes he decides he wants to do five in a row. Sometimes when we are driving, Simon decides he wants to play the "minus and plus" game where I ask him a subtraction problem and after he answers I ask Gwen an addition problem. Simon does pretty well with subtracting two numbers under 20 in his head. Gwen, well...she is just guessing on the addition problems :)

The Saxon Math doesn't seem so bad now that we have moved a little past the first 20 worksheets. It is very repetitive, but I don't think there is anything terribly wrong with that. We went to my sister's house last week and she quizzed Simon on what he is learning in homeschool and if he liked it or not.

Last Friday for our *field trip* we went to the zoo, but the weather turned cold and we didn't stay as long as I would have liked. If the weather is nice this Friday, I think we will go to a Metropark Nature Center. I also want to go to the apple orchard sometime this fall, but I am hoping to take a Wednesday off for that so the whole family can go.

Oh, and I am happy to report that our mangled sunflower has produced a flower that no animal has eaten yet!! I took a couple of pics of it, but it is so small, it hardly looks like a sunflower. Once I use up the roll of film I will post our sad little flower :)

My last thought for the day is about bullies and how they are supposed to make our lives better somehow :) I signed up for a free 7 day subscription to classmates.com just to see who had signed my profile, only to find that this person, I'll call her TB, had signed my profile and I just about threw up. The girl who tormented me throughout junior high, stole crap from my locker, used to prank call me, and finally, ALMOST beat the crap out of me at the mall (until some nice guys intervened to save my butt) had signed my profile? Are you freaking kidding me? This happened over 20 years ago, and she still freaks me out! Yes, bullies are a great thing--I think everyone should have one!! Yes...yes...sure...why not? It only helps us later in life somehow???

Gosh darn it all

This summer we decided to not buy any flowers from the nursery to save water, money, time, etc. We did plant a few flowers that were leftovers from neighbors and my sister, but other than that, we did not buy anything but a pack of sunflower seeds.

I love sunflowers. Sunflowers and daisies are my absolute favorite flowers, so I thought Simon and I could give a try and see what we could grow. We planted a whole package of sunflowers in a sunny spot, we watered everyday and nothing. Nothing. Nothing...until one sunflower plant (or so I hoped) started to grow. Oh, we took care of that sunflower--we waited, we weeded, we watered. Then a storm came and knocked it over, but the sunflower wasn't giving up so easily--so we kept watering and waiting and last week I could see the yellow petals JUST getting ready to open. I went out the next day in hopes to take a picture of our one lone sunflower trying to show its stuff and ...and...IT WAS GONE. Some freaking animal ate the head off our sunflower :(

There are a couple more *buds* on the plant, but I don't know how to spare them the same fate as the original. Sigh...maybe next year we will have flowers again.

Feeling Lucky

Today, I found my first actual dollar bill on the street this year for our *found money* project--woo hoo!! I found another couple of coins today, too, which brings us up to a whopping $5.46. I tell you, campus is a great place to find money. People have no respect for dropped pennies--especially in the student center. You'd think with college tuition up another 10% this year, no one would let a coin pass them by and everyone would be fighting for the pop bottles on campus, too. (I still can't get over how many people still throw out pop cans and bottles when you get 10 cents back in this state. TEN CENTS!!!)

I was going to wait until the end of the year to spend the *found money*, but Simon found a space video about the planets he wanted from Amazon a week ago and so I pooled my *found money* coins along with our coin jar in the kitchen which was overflowing with pennies and turned them into the local Coinstar machine. The last time I used Coinstar to rid myself of $15 worth of pennies, I noticed they now have the option to turn your coins into e-certificates which doesn't cost you the 8.9 cents per dollar of coins counted. Since we buy so much from Amazon, I thought that would be a great way to find enough money to buy Simon the $12 video he wanted. The biggest plus is since I didn't have to pay the fee to use the machine, I also didn't spend all afternoon digging out every last quarter, dime and nickel from my coin jar. Excellent....

Also, while at work today, I accidentally stumbled across the 30th annual Dally in the Alley festival. Hawksbill and I used to live in an apartment that is in the alley they hold this festival every year, so I felt kind of nostalgic going to the Dally and seeing the place I spent my years as an undergrad. The last time I went to the Dally was probably 10 years ago, but I heard the music and smelled the excellent food and wandered over there after work today. Although tempted, I didn't buy anything other than a couple samosa to eat. The last time I went to the festival, it was mostly contained within the alley between W. Hancock and Forest, but this year the Dally was three times the size covering the both streets and the alley in between, plus a little bit of Second St.--it may have even been larger, but I didn't stay very long as I wanted to get home since I was by myself and I would rather be home with Hawksbill and the kiddos :)

Friday bowling and other stuff

I am glad Simon picked bowling today as it is raining on and off and my dream of going to the zoo just wouldn't have worked out. The bowling alley in the next city over opened at 11 am and had bumper bowling! Yay! Gwen was a bit apprehensive at first and didn't want to play until halfway through the first game, but then decided bowling might be fun after all. Of course, her throw wasn't very strong so we had to call someone over to get her ball as it would get stuck halfway down the lane very often.

We played two games and Simon's high score was 82, Gwen's was 14 (I didn't know you could still get gutter balls when you played bumper bowling--but apparently Gwen just couldn't get enough force on the ball to hit the pins before the thingy would come down and swoop the pins and her ball away.) My score, you ask? Oh, I managed an 86 this time but before you are all impressed with my huge improvement...um...well...if the bumpers hadn't been there I think my score would have been closer to Gwen's final score.

The hardest part today was convincing Simon that is was O.K. for Gwen and I to use the same ball to play (his insistence that she use one particular ball and I the other led to one meltdown from Simon where he actually threw a ball down on the floor--not cool and I let him know that). The second hardest part was convincing Gwen to part with her snazzy bowling shoes we rented from the place. This I am shocked by as the those ugly shoes were a plain brown and she is so freaking picky about what shoes she wears that I never thought I'd get her to wear them in the first place. After some negotiations, she let me return the shoes and we went home. But the kids had fun, I was a bit frazzled afterwards, but happy no one else was there while we played as I had to chase them around a bit and convince them that dancing on the lanes wasn't allowed. I would do it again if it wasn't for the price, so this might be a once-every-six-months-or-so kind of special treat.

Gwen surprised me today with a shocker--she asked me to pee on the potty when her diaper was dry. Skeptical, I took her to pee and after about 5 minutes of sitting she actually went!! Woo hoo!! I know this in itself isn't that big of a deal, nor am I naive enough to think this will last, however, she asked to go again an hour later and sure enough, she peed on the potty--twice in one day!! And, btw, this is the absolute first time she has EVER done this for me. E.V.E.R. She once did this for Hawksbill, but that was months ago. I told Gwen we would get twizzlers and pringles if she would keep this up, to which Simon commented, "I pooped yesterday. Do I get twizzlers and pringles, too?" Ha ha hahahahaha....I told him my deal to him was that every time Gwen went, he would get the same treats she did, but he had to help convince her that using the toilet was cool.

Normally I wouldn't try to bribe my kids to do something, but honestly, it worked when potty training Simon, and after a couple of weeks he was over the twizzlers and pringles and just used the bathroom when he needed without any special treat or prize. But I am still a realist. If this is the start of some type of actual potty training, I will be extremely happy--but if it is just some kind of fluke, I will survive...Simon was almost 4 when he was fully trained, and maybe that sounds old to the general population, but I don't freaking care :)

Settling In

This is the first week of school for Hawksbill, and we are starting to settle into our schedules. Hopefully in a couple of weeks it will be routine, but for now, we are starting to get used to who is supposed to be where at what time so that someone is home with Simon and Gwen at all times. We have to do two baby swaps this year as opposed to one last year while in transit to work or school, but we'll manage, right? I think the best part is that Hawksbill only has to drive to Ann Arbor two days a week instead of four, which will save gas, time, and hopefully a little sanity this year.

Since I am going to be working on Saturdays again this semester, I have taken Friday as my *off* day and I am trying to plan some kind of *field trip* each week so that I will force myself to NOT work an extra day each week (like last year!!!), plus get the kiddos out of the house to have some fun (I hope). Simon said he wants to go bowling tomorrow, and it looks like a local bowling alley has open bowl starting at 11:00 am so I am going to try to take the kids there tomorrow. I REALLY wanted to go to the zoo since this is the first week of public school and I figured it would be pretty empty this week, but it wouldn't be fun if Simon and Gwen didn't actually want to go there. So, fingers crossed on the bowling tomorrow. I think my high score is about a 36, so I am sure the kids won't have too hard a time beating me. :)

We are still *winging it* for our 3rd week of homeschool. Simon has agreed to do one math worksheet a day as long as we do them in order--ha! He likes doing things in order, and he won't bend on that one. We also filled in a calendar today for September. As Simon wrote each number for the 30 days, he started making them squiggly or with dots or added shapes for the numbers to sit on, and I couldn't help but think if he was in regular kindergarten there might (but not necessarily) be some well meaning teacher to tell him he was "doing it wrong" and needed to write his numbers properly. Maybe I am flashing back to my own horrible kindergarten experience, but still, I like knowing exactly what he is doing in school. Mostly today he is doing things on his own--he has been playing with his foam letters making words, and then putting them up on his white board with the magnet letters. Right now he is making words with Playdoh and making up songs about the words. I am so glad he is home with me now :)

On another note, Simon and Gwen have been playing together a lot better lately. Not they were every terrible playmates, but now they are going on quests together to find Pythagoras (our little cat). I like how Simon and Gwen pronounce it, "Purrthagoras." They are playing for hours at a time now without hitting or shrieking or someone screaming, "Gwen is in my room touching my stuff!!" or "Simon hurt my feelings!!". We still have quiet time where Gwen takes a nap (Gwen--you rock!!) and Simon usually plays with toys or something. If I didn't have so much work to do today, I would let him play with his new solar system game/simulator thing on the computer. Maybe later...

Here's wishing Hawksbill is having a pleasant first day of classes :)

Happy Birthday, Hawksbill!!!!!

Hello, my love and Happy Birthday!!! We wish you were home with us today!!! Good luck on your first day back and we will see you soon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Love, Barbnocity, Simon and Gwen E. Bear....

:)

Ten Hat Duck

So, we have a new name for our rock band--Simon has a bunch of plastic chips with words on them and was putting random words together and came up with "Ten Hat Duck" which I think would make a great band name. We'll file that one for later.

Tomorrow is the first day of school for Hawksbill--the beginning of his last year of graduate school--yay yay!! I am so excited. Just think--Eight more months and he will be D.O.N.E. I cannot even contain my excitement--well, I will be more excited next May, but for now...yay!!

We have started our family homeschooling and although I have only been home for the first week of homeschooling and not as active a participant as Hawksbill, we have found ourselves kind of, well, accidentally unschooling. This wasn't the plan!! Not that we need a plan, however, it turns out the Saxon Math we bought is well, kind of slow and boring. I mean, it isn't terrible--it is completely scripted so that if you wanted, you could literally read word for word from the book to teach math--it tells you every word they think you should say to your kid during a math lesson, but when we got to the worksheets Simon doesn't seem very interested. You see, the worksheets seem to assume your kid doesn't know how to count to 5 yet, and well, the first 13 worksheets are fairly repetitive asking your child to "color in 5 squares," or "draw five animals" etc. so when I ask Simon to draw five animals, or color in five squares, he usually looks at me and asks, "Why?" Good question. And...AND...the boy is a stickler for following order and does not want to skip ahead to the worksheets that might be more interesting to him. No, mommy, we are only on lesson 13B...we can't do lesson 20A now!!! That is not the right order.

Plus, the reading lesson book we have be using periodically, that we had planned on using this fall, seems a little too advanced at this point. Simon can read, but trying to explain the difference between to, too and two seemed like too much right now.

So, basically, what we have been doing is playing with all the math manipulatives that came with his math books, and reading to him at night. He is still listening to his, "Story of the World," tapes at night (which is a taped version of the history lessons we planned on reading to him). The funny thing is, we really didn't think Simon would pick anything up from just listening to those tapes, but he loves to listen to them before bed over and over again. One day he said to us, "I think it is funny that Saturn is Jupiter's Daddy since Saturn is smaller than Jupiter!!" What?? We asked him where he found that out (and of course, I had to look it up since I had no idea if Saturn was Jupiter's father--he is) and he told us he heard it on his tapes at night!! Yay yay!! So, I am glad he likes those, and is actually getting something out of those...

Which brings us to the unschooling. I am sure we have mentioned about 257 times that Simon is obsessed with planets and the solar system, so the last few weeks he has been obsessing even more playing different online games with his dad and learning the names of all the stars in his favorite constellations. Hawksbill couldn't be happier that they share the same obsession with Astronomy and maybe someday we can buy a real telescope to look at the planets and stars at night...we shall see....it is fun to watch our kid name every freaking planet and moon and then wonder why he is asking us to type the planets' names in a certain order until he explains he is listing them from smallest to largest or some other weird planet or space fact...so cool :)

Although I am still resistant to the idea of completely unschooling our kids, I am really not too worried about it this year since this is kindergarten and I think Simon has mastered almost everything he needs to know for kindergarten already...this year is more of an exploration of what he likes with a touch of, "I hope he likes some of the things I like, too, but I won't be too pushy." Ha! We shall see.

Which brings me to another story of telling people Simon isn't going to school this year. I was sitting with some coworkers who asked about Simon going to kindergarten this fall, and my gut told me NOT to bring up homeschooling, so I said, instead, "Simon isn't going to kindergarten because it is optional." They both seemed ok with that explanation and then went on about how a friend of theirs is homeschooling their 3 kids and what a disaster that is and why anyone would do that because these kids clearly can't read or even speak properly, and how could anyone homeschool with more than one kid, how could you concentrate with diapers and other kids and distractions, etc....I did my best to defend this family who are completely unknown to me, but did not mention that we are homeschooling because, well...what would the point have been then?

But this last month of summer has been a blur. We went camping for a weekend early in August in an attempt to see the Perseid Meteor shower (I saw one falling star, Hawksbill saw two, but that was it for us), and it was fun, but kind of rushed. We just went to the Bay City State Park, but the beach was kind of gross, so we tried to travel north to find another beach and it ended up raining on us, so we turned around and went to Lakeport which was nice....3 days after this, Hawksbill left for his long weekend of gaming for the 2nd annual Foot Foot retreat, and the day after he returned, I spent the week in D.C. for work. I am home now and glad to be back...that was the longest I have ever been apart from my family and I'd rather not do that again. However, I did have the chance to hang out with our attorney :) and his girlfriend for an evening while we grabbed some lovely Mexican food and then they gave me the "nickel tour" of D.C.!! Very fun--I wish we could have hung out longer, but we all had work to do and had to get up early the next day.

Last week since my boss and program manager were both out of town on vacation, I had the pleasure of trying to put together a grant proposal with only one professor to help with writing out the text. Also, I usually do not do the budget part or the footwork of getting signatures and approval from various departments, and I have to tell you it was not a pleasant experience. Even trying to get the proposal delivered properly by UPS was a killer as the deadline was 4 pm on Friday. When you open up "track package" and see the word, "Exception--need a correct suite number in order to deliver your package" when you know full well the correct suite number was typed boldly on the package, while arguing with UPS customer service claiming they are "looking at the label and can't see it!" well, just adds to the frustration. But, the proposal made it before the 4 pm deadline...I just hope I put it all together correctly. Sigh...fingers crossed--I think this one will come through--knock on wood, etc....

Next week our crazy schedule starts up again...I know we can do this because we did this last year and survived...but I hope it is a little easier this year. I know work itself will be harder for me since I have two half-time jobs instead of one full-time job and I think I have a lot on my plate, but it will all work out. What could possibly go wrong, eh?

I know I already wrote a book but my short update on Simon and Gwen.

Right now Simon is beyond obsessed with the solar system. He is now memorizing the names of the moons and will quiz ME on, "Titan is the moon to which planet, mommy?" I always get this wrong, but he has fun showing me which moon belongs to what planet. Simon also likes taking all the shapes out of his math manipulatives and making these cool, almost mosaic looking space creatures. I can't wait until we have a digital camera so I can quickly take a picture of his art and post as he likes to destroy his stuff as quickly as he makes it. He is also asking me to teach him to count by 3's then 4's then 100's then 1000's...I think he is on a quest to find the biggest number ever, but I keep telling him no matter how big he chooses I will find a bigger number....I am no fun. We have also been playing checkers together and some of his other new games listed in posts below.

Gwen is presently talking and talking and talking some more. She isn't throwing quite as many tantrums as she used to, (thank goodness). She likes to repeat things that we say and for some reason, it sounds weird to me when she uses words like, "actually," or "interesting," or anything larger than two syllables. I don't know. She is also obsessed with a little baby doll she bought with her allowance making sure she feeds the baby, and dresses the baby, etc. Gwen is so, so...girly...I find it kind of weird. I try to buy her clothes outside of the "pink" range, but unless it has Hello Kitty, a princess or flowers on it, forget it. Sigh...so much for having a tomboy.... we don't even have any Disney princess movies, yet she still finds it and wants it. Totally freaky to me. Hawksbill read some article (sorry I don't have the reference) that was trying to make the claim that women are actually genetically programmed to like colors like pink as we used to be the hunters and gatherers and needed to find things that stood out well against a green background. That still doesn't explain her need to call herself a princess though....{{shudder}}. Gwen is also obsessed with lego blocks right now and likes making huge castles with them--and by castle, I mean she likes to stick together as many legos as possible on top of each other and calls it her castle :)

That's it for now...tomorrow is the big day--Hawksbill has his internship and I hope he likes it. I will be working from home and arranging my schedule to fit work the best I am able...just 8 months to go...I will be counting the days.