Any statements I may have made about my kids playing well together, behaving well, starting potty training, etc...I retract them all now--just in case anyone is keeping track :)
Friday's field trip to the Nature Center turned out to be more of a pain in the butt than anything else, but I only have myself to blame for this. I made too many early side trips before the Nature Center, so it wasn't as enjoyable as it could have been.
Mistake number one was going to the mall first to try to find a black vest for Simon's Han Solo costume. Simon has decided that we are all going to be Star Wars characters for Halloween. Gwen is going to be Princess Leia, Simon will be Han Solo, I will be Luke Skywalker, and Hawksbill is going to be Obi-Wan Kenobi. So, Gwen's costume was an easy 1-2-3 click on ebay for not too much money. Simon's costume is fairly easy--he is just a guy with a gun, so he already had blue jeans, white t-shirt, etc...we just needed a black vest. I have a genetic disorder that forces me to check every damn store at the mall for the least expensive price of an item before I can buy it--coupled with another genetic disorder that will not allow me to buy something that is not on sale...so, after going to 10 different stores, only finding the black vest at Sears NOT ON SALE, and then mentally calculating how much gasoline and more time I was not willing to waste trying to find a less expensive vest, we bought the one from Sears without the need for me to go into some 12-step program for people who are incapable of ever paying full price for something.
The next stop, which could have easily been avoided by me, was a trip to a flute store to have 2 flutes and a piccolo inspected and appraised as brother #3 wished to borrow my student flute for his 10-year old daughter who is starting band this year. I was thinking of selling the instruments to him, but after the appraisal and Simon and Gwen begging me to teach them how to play, I decided the replacement cost would be too much for me later on, so I would keep them. Of course, waiting in a VERY tiny room for over 45 minutes while my kids jumped on the store's couches, Gwen screaming, "I NEED TO POOP ON THE POTTY!" changing over to "I NEED TO CHANGE MY POOPY DIAPER!!" and then me attempting to change said soiled diaper standing up in a bathroom no bigger than a port-o-potty was oh, so fun.
Tired of trying to get my lovely children to STOP ringing the bell on the door handle was the straw that broke this camel's back, so I left the store, scolding my kids and angry and tired, only to be followed out by an apologetic store owner (why he was apologizing was beyond me after listening to my crazy kids whooping it up in his store for 45 minutes) but I told him I would wait in the car for the inspection and appraisal if he didn't mind and he took care of everything--so thank you, flute specialist guy, for still wanting my business even after my kids were insane in your store :)
Next, I called my parents (who live near the nature center) to find out if we should come by before or after our nature walk, we decided after would be better and drove another 30 minutes to the Nature Center at the Metropark near my parents' house. It was my original plan to have my mom come with us, but we took so long at the first two stops that she didn't have time to come with us.
I haven't been to this nature center in years, and knew the new building should be open, so we wanted to go and check it out. By now, of course, it was Gwen's nap time, but she wasn't napping in the car, which only meant trouble later...but we'll get to that in a minute.
We got to the Nature Center Building and found it open, however, the bathrooms were not in working order. Great. Just went I need to go, and well, I am not taking BOTH Simon and Gwen into a port-o-potty with me, so I am just going to have to wait. The new building is pretty and has a bunch of fish tanks with fish and tons of turtles and snakes and rocks and what not--so I was happy to be there. Simon saw a bunch of wooden puzzles he wanted to work on, while Gwen checked out the frogs and turtles. I noticed a sign for a free scavenger hunt for the kids so I picked up the form and Gwen and I started looking for the answers. Simon caught wind of this and came up with some rational argument that, "Gwen can't do the scavenger hunt because it is BLUE!" and started arguing with me about who could hold the pencil. It was about that time that Gwen threw herself on the floor in a complete, full out tantrum--red face, tears, shrieking--it was great...not. I took the scavenger hunt back to the man in charge and politely said, "We're going to have to leave now," and dragged both kids kicking and screaming out....sigh...
But, I had hope--there was still the nature trail, so we walked to the 3 signs--we could do a 1/2 mile, 1.25 mile or 2.3 mile trail...stupid mommy chose the 1.25 mile trail thinking it wasn't too long and would wear out the little ones...ha ha ha...what was that? I forgot the part where I am carrying my camera, a small diaper bag, have to pee, and what was that? I forgot the rule of all small children who haven't napped yet and would want me to CARRY them the entire way??? Oh, where was my brain today? Gwen was really into the trail at first--there was a cool pond with rocks and lily pads and algae, all that good stuff that she wanted to inspect. Simon, on the other hand, wanted to find each trail marker as fast as humanly possible because, well, obviously, they were each marked with the letter "L" so we had to find all the L's and count them. So, between gentle Gwen wanting to count every fish, Simon screaming, "Come on, we need to find the next sign!" and then the 20 step, "Mommy, carry me piggy back!" followed by, "Mommy I want to walk!!" squats (My freaking calves still hurt!!!), it wasn't as calm and relaxing as I had hoped.
I was really hoping to stop and LOOK at things, but at one point Simon was so far ahead that I was worried he'd fall off of something or into something and had to keep moving. But I can only walk so fast with a full bladder while carrying a 35 lb 2-year old on my back...and a dirty diaper in my hand--did I mention I had to change her diaper halfway through the trail? There aren't exactly any garbage cans along the way and she insisted I change her or she would throw another raging tantrum.
We did get to see fish on the trail, and one crayfish. I wanted to stop and read the signs about how the area was created by glaciers and what the hills were called and what kinds of rocks were on the trails, but the whole thing was a blur. There were a few moments where the trail was really quiet and beautiful and I could imagine all of us hiking along the trails on Manitou Island, and I was thankful there wasn't anyone else on the trail for my kids to torment, but I think we'll have to do this trip again--in the morning...without making any stops before the actual trail...sigh....
And I KNOW this was my fault--I shouldn't have dragged the kids to several places before the nature trail, but I often wonder when other people tell me stories about "going to the nature trail" or "going to the pumpkin patch" with their kids and how much fun it was that I am the only one whose kids act insane or misbehave, or I just have this problem of dwelling on the bad moments and not focusing on the fun stuff. I don't know. I guess I am just trying to keep it real here :)
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4 comments:
Oh man... I split a gut reading this. I can entirely empathize... sometimes other moms ask if I want to go to a certain park or museum or cafe with our kids and I want to say "ARE YOU INSANE?" (Actually it's a little better now, but the memories are vivid.) My particular favorite was holding Tristan's head while he threw a tantrum -- he had the habit of bashing his forehead on the floor, which in this case was cobbled cement -- while not even knowing where Anya WAS (another mom was in search of her), and at an age when Tristan was already too heavy and strong for me to safely carry him in mid-tantrum. And then having a granola mom with 4 silent, docile cherubs say to me "Would you like to borrow my sling?" I felt like saying "No, thanks, we'll get through this... and then not leave the house for the next 4 months."
The time Tristan threw a fit for 15 minutes because he wanted to open the bathroom door at Jungle Java ALL BY HIMSELF was another high point. Every time a woman needed in or out I had to wrestle him off the door and hope I didn't drop him while he flailed. There was no way to leave, since I couldn't carry him that far and Anya was somewhere up in the play structure, nowhere to be seen. Tristan would get the door open a crack and put his mouth up to it and just holler and rage, amplified by all the tile... the poor women inside must've been going deaf.
I'll probably have those dreams you get years later, like that you show up to the final exam but you forgot to ever attend class. The new nightmare will feature being at a posh restaurant with my kids at a young age, not having packed any diapers, my daughter refusing to put her clothes back on (she hated clothes the entire year she was 3), while my son whacks his forehead against the floor-- and then they'll both suddenly sprint in opposite directions. *Shudder*
Ah, your description brings back memories ... My son was fairly docile in public, but my daughter (who happens to be freelearner), now that was a different story. We were once at a bowling alley watching my parents bowl and someone said something about going to the alley's bar for a bite to eat. However, freelearner was already in Brat mode so we had to turn down that idea, whereupon she started screaming at the top of her lungs, "I want to go to the bar! I want to go to the bar!" That's just what you want other people to hear your darling three-year-old scream, as if the bar is a place you regularly take your kid to. Sigh.
But there's a happy ending--she turned out GREAT, is a great daughter, mom, and friend, smart, talented, interesting, and engaged. So you have something to look forward to!
Hi, Freelearner and Kris! Thanks for the stories--it is reassurance that maybe I am not raising complete lunatics or future serial killers :), and I am not the only one with crazy kids.
I am looking forward to the day when I am not dragging a kid out from under a table at a restaurant, or not apologizing for Gwen's glass-shattering shriek...I keep hoping *3* truly IS the magic number next year since Simon seemed to turn into sweet docile boy at age 3 when Gwen was born. However, that only lasted until age 4.5 when Gwen was old enough to start messing with Simon's toys...sigh....
Although you told me this story already, reading it was a total laugh-and I have complete sympathy and empathy for and with you, Mama!
Its all too hard, too damn much...and yet we do it again, and the memories turn from exhaustion and anger to funny, to hilarious! The tales of childhood!
SO many places that should be "kid friendly", like a nature center, are sadly, not. Toddler friendly is a really tricky one, too--and by "a really tricky one" I mean a padded room that somehow serves coffee and/or alcohol alongside its changing tables.
I have had trips like this, and I will overhear the kids, a week or two later, telling someone how much FUN they had and I am astonished. It seems like along with their ability to turn the simplest of outings into a lesson in torture, they also have an amazing tolerance and obliviousness to the fact that their adult caregivers were in hell. Perfect!
:)
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